Not All Opportunities Are Good Opportunities

Not every opportunity is a good opportunity. Some doors are opened for someone else, not for you.

One time back in New York, one person who went to my church applied for a sheriff deputy position in San Francisco. Now, this is going to sound bad, but I was wondering why would he consider being a cop when he was VERY obese! He was shorter than me (I'm 5'9'') and had to be over 300 lbs. So, you just had to wonder why would someone like him be interested in being a law enforcement offer where he would definitely have to be in shape?

"Because it's an opportunity," he said. Nothing else. It was simply an opportunity. 

Now, if being a cop was his dream, then I could understand. He could lose the weight, get in shape, and wear that star badge. However, he didn't give any other reasons for applying to the deputy position besides the fact that he saw an opportunity.

Also, he wasn't even that interested in being a cop! When I asked him about his decision, he gave a gesture that showed that being a cop wasn't something that he really wanted to do. But once again, it was an opportunity.

The thing about opportunities is that they are always around! They are always opened to everybody! But this does not mean that you have to go after those opportunities. Some opportunities may seem good at first, but may wind up ruining you.

One of the biggest marketing tactics the U.S. military (army, navy, etc.) would use to recruit individuals is paid college tuition. You serve for a certain amount of time in the military, and you could go to college absolutely for free -- or mostly free. Think about it! Get a bachelor's degree and not have to worry about paying back debt! 

So, you've signed up...and then immediately get deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan and get killed, burned, lose your legs, etc. Was getting a free ride in college really worth it? You should have left the military opportunity to someone who truly wanted to do it.

The dangerous thing about opportunities is that they look so good! They get you all excited! But if you're not careful, you'll wind up regretting taking an opportunity.

Now, you're wondering, "How would I know what opportunities to take and what opportunities to ignore?" Well, I have a few suggestions for you.

1. Don't jump on opportunities due to frustration. You hate where you're living. There are no opportunities available and the only thing you could do is join the army. Well, don't join the army if that's your attitude. Yes, the army could get you out of your town and open many opportunities for you, but as mentioned above, there are consequences for joining the army. Leave the military to those who want it and for those who accept the risks.

2. Ask yourself if the opportunity coincides with your natural abilities. If you love teaching, don't get a job as a bill collector -- especially if you don't have the personality to be one. And if you're a teacher, only teach the group that you're most skilled to teach. Not everybody could teach pre-school kids. Not everybody could teach those with special needs.

3. See if the opportunity is going to take you forward, not backward (or "sideward"). In life, there is one direction you want to go: forward. You want to be a better man/woman, a better husband/wife, a better father/mother, a better employee, a better teacher, a better lawyer, a better mechanic, a better WHATEVER. If you take an opportunity that would hinder you from being better at who you are or what you do, then it's the wrong opportunity. It's like a former alcoholic taking a job at Budweiser! 

4. Would the opportunity hurt people in your family? What if one day I just decided that I'm going to be a cop? My wife would be living in unrest until the day I leave that job. Is the opportunity worth bringing stress on her? Is the opportunity you want to take worth the stress that you'd bring on your loved ones?

5. Does the opportunity involve doing something that you actually love doing? Okay, so maybe your job isn't paying you what you're worth (no job really does). An opportunity comes up to do another job and get paid much more money. However, you'd be doing something that you don't want to do. If you'll be in a job where you can't find satisfaction in your work, then you've taken the wrong opportunity.

Opportunities would always present themselves to you. This doesn't mean you have to take every opportunity. Take the opportunities that would lead you to a better place in life. Take the opportunities that were meant for YOU, not for somebody else.

Yes, when you get frustrated in life, every opportunity looks good. Everybody else's grass is greener than yours. But unless you want to kick yourself in the butt later in life, be careful in what opportunities you jump on. Some opportunities may make your life even more miserable.

And the most important thing about opportunities is that they will ALWAYS come. Back in New York City, when I've missed one train, another one came 5 minutes later (or immediately afterward during rush hour). Unless you were running late, then missing one train wasn't a big deal. You just wait for the next one. But even if you're living in a rural area where a public bus would come every HOUR, guess what? You still have an opportunity to get on another bus.

Be willing to pass on one opportunity for another. Yes, you've been taught to take the opportunities as they come. But you don't have to. If you're not ready for the opportunity or if you don't think it's for you, let it pass and look for the other opportunity right behind it.

Just Say No

Recently, the family and I went to Florida for Disney World's Magic Kingdom. We were staying in a resort for FREE because a dentist that my wife worked for had a time share. 

When we checked in the resort, we were "lured" to getting a "gift" from the resort people. All we had to do was to sit in a presentation about time shares. We were told that it would be about an hour and after the presentation, we would get $60 in cash. Hey, that's not a bad deal, especially since we would get that cash whether or not we wanted to buy a time share.

On the next day, we met with one of the sales reps who was nice, showed us around the resort, talked to us about getting a time share, had us watch a short video, and offered us some doughnuts. But I knew that we were in for a hard sale. 

So, the presentation took about two and half hours! The sales rep threw all these numbers at us, trying to convince us that buying a time share would be the best decision to make, etc., etc. After nearly 3 hours, I finally told him that I wasn't interested in buying anything. And yes, you've guessed it. He didn't go down without a fight.

After several attempts of trying to convince me to get a time share today (right now!), he had a manager come over and talk with us. At this moment, I was so fed up that nothing they said would convince me to change my decision. The answer was NO! The manager did her best to convince me. No luck. Then the sales rep made a last attempt to change my mind. The answer was no.

Finally, the sales rep saw that he lost this battle. He was a nice guy, though. He finally had another person come over to arrange for us to get the $60. Finally, we're about to get out of here!

Well...not quite...

This last guy was funny, had my wife and I laughing, saying things like, "Nobody comes on a vacation to invest in real estate!" Yes, he understood where we were coming from. But...he was also using sales tactics: get my wife and I laughing to let our guard down so we could be open to another offer. I caught on to what he was doing and his jokes weren't so funny anymore!

He wrote down some offers for my wife and I to discuss. He left the table so we could "talk about it." There was nothing to talk about. Get me out of here! 

He came back, but unfortunately he came back to a NO. Then he started getting dramatic (in a humorous way). But I said, "We got to go!" And that was it. We received our 60 bucks. We sacrificed nearly 3 hours of our day, though.

Now let me point out that during this whole sales presentation, it was very tempting to just say yes to avoid any confrontation. Previously, I've been the type of person who was afraid of saying no. I didn't want the other person to make me feel bad. I didn't want any confrontation. I didn't want to make the other person angry. 

But finally, I came to realize that if someone had the guts to approach me about something that I didn't ask for, then I ought to have the guts to say no to their faces.

You know when you go to the mall and see sales folks looking for people to sell products to? Let's think about cell phone sales reps. They look around for people who seem approachable and say, "Excuse me, could I ask you a question? What cell phone plan do you have." Sometimes, these sales folks are bold enough to get in your face as if trying to ambush you. And if you were like me, you'd stay and listen to their presentation because you're afraid to say no.

But you know what? Just say no. Don't even give anybody the time to make any presentations. Just say no. And now when I go to the mall and hear a sales rep wanting to "ask me a question," I simply say NO and continue walking. 

It's hard to say no. Why? Nobody likes to hear no. Your children don't like to hear no. Your boss doesn't like to hear no. Sales reps, telemarketers, customers, clients, nobody likes to hear no.

But let me tell you something about the word NO. It's powerful! It's liberating! It gives you control of your life. It keeps your kids in check. It keeps your clients from bossing you around. It keeps your family from making you do something that you're not comfortable with.

When you're tempted to smoke a cigarette when you're trying to quit, just say NO. Don't be a slave to that addiction.

When you're tempted to cheat on your spouse, say NO. Don't let immediate self gratification ruin your entire marriage.

When you're tempted to go home instead of going to the gym, just say NO. You'll get such a powerful work-out that would make you feel good about your decision.

When you're tempted to give your kids everything they say, just say NO. Always saying yes would spoil them and turn them into terrors!

When you're boss ask you to stay later for the fifth time in a row, just say NO. You have a life outside of work. And if he wants to fire you because you said no, then look for work elsewhere.

His parents probably never said no to him...

When you're family pushes you to marry someone that you don't care for, say NO. You're the one who has to spend your entire life with this person.

When you're friends try to get you to accept a job that you won't like, say NO. Who is going to be working there: you or your friends

When you say YES, you're living for somebody else. When you say NO, you're living for yourself.

And when you say NO, you owe nobody an explanation. If you say NO, then you mean NO. It doesn't matter why. You just don't want it, so the answer is no.

When I say NO to my kids, I don't need to explain why. The answer is no because first of all, I'm the parent. What I say goes. Don't like it? Move out my house, get a job, and pay for your own way. Can't do that yet? Then if I say NO, then the answer is NO and I owe you no explanation.

When a sales rep comes to my house trying to sell their stuff, I just need to say no. Why? Don't worry about my why! The answer is no.

During the time share presentation, I made the mistake of explaining my NO. Why was that a mistake? Because sales folks are trained to respond to ALL kinds of objections. You see, when you give an explanation of your no, you're giving the other person a chance to convince you to change your answer. You don't want that! You said no because you're not interested! Period! Maybe the reason you said no is ridiculous. But so what? The answer is still no!

• Why can't I stay late for work? Because I don't want to!
• Why can't you have a doughnut for breakfast? Because I said so!
• Why don't I want to be a doctor when I grow up? Because I'm not interested!
• Why don't I want to buy your most expensive car? Because I don't want to spend that money on a car. Why? Because! That's why!

Yes, people would look at you funny, thinking that you're irrational, how your reasoning doesn't make sense. It's crazy to think that someone doesn't want to come on vacation to invest thousands of dollars on real estate right on the spot! Isn't that insane????

Yes, I'm being sarcastic.

But when it comes down to it, the only person who has to live with your decision is YOU. So, YOU make the decision that works for YOU, not for anybody else. 

Just say NO!

Comparing Your Weaknesses To Someone Else's Strengths

When you get jealous of someone, why is that? The other person has certain qualities that you don't have and seems to be doing well for him or herself. 

Whenever I go to business meetings, I hear of successful people who have made so much money in what seems to be in such a short period of time. They are talking about the great lifestyle they have, all the vacations they are going on, and all the debt they've paid off.  Then I look at myself and think how I am NOWHERE NEAR where they are! I still have debt that is nowhere near being paid off!

Then these successful individuals tell their "secrets" at how they've been so successful. Many of them are go-getter types where they eat, sleep, and breathe success. They know what they want and would do all that it takes to get it. One particular speaker mentioned  being willing to be "uncomfortable everyday."

Well, I'm not the go-getter type. And I'm pretty sure that I will NEVER be the go-getter type. I don't accept challenges, I don't try to prove anyone wrong, and I don't go after success as if it was going out of style.

But then I got my "A-Ha!" moment: these people used their strengths to get success while I'm trying to use my weakness to get the same success.

Everybody has strengths and weaknesses. However, a weakness doesn't have to be a bad thing just like a strength doesn't have to be a good thing. If you're good at making people feel bad, that's not good. If you're awful in being a confrontational person, that's not necessarily a bad thing. But you don't have to reduce your strengths in one area and you don't have to build on your weakness in another area.

Sometimes, a weakness is just that: a weakness. It's not good, it's not bad, it's just a weakness. Really, you don't have to call it a weakness. It's just not your specialty. It's not in your character. It's not your focus. You're not good at it. Call it whatever you want, but just know that a weakness is not necessarily a bad thing.

For instance, my wife and I run our own nutrition business. She knows VERY LITTLE about nutrition! Don't ask her to explain proteins and amino acids to you! And she has no shame in admitting that her knowledge in nutrition is extremely lacking. However, she's great in following up with individuals who take our nutritional products and plugging them into various events sponsored by our nutritional company. 

Me? Well, when it comes to nutrition, health, and anatomy, you could call me the professor! I could explain any nutritional question you have -- and yes, I could explain amino acids to you in a way that a toddler could understand. However, when it comes to follow up and plugging people into various events, I suck!

When it comes to public speaking or teaching, don't ask my wife to do it. One time, she was going to run a weight-loss competition by herself...but she couldn't teach! She couldn't present the materials to the people in a way they could understand. She was simply reading from the book! You know how you've hated when your teacher just read from a textbook, right? So, she had to get me to teach the classes. I didn't need a textbook.

So, my wife sucks at teaching nutritional classes. Is that bad? No, it's not. It's just something she's not good at. She doesn't need to teach nutritional classes in order to build our business. These classes were just a method we've used to help increase business.

Now, there's another "A-Ha" moment: instead of using methods that depend on our weakness, we needed to use methods that depend on our strengths.

So, one of my strengths is teaching fitness classes. I LOVE teaching fitness classes. So, what we did was promote fitness classes to the community. I would lead the classes and my wife would set up a booth promoting "her" nutrition business after classes were over. It worked great! People come to take an awesome class, and then afterwards they could see my wife for samples and to sign up for various events. And of course, she is great at following up with clients.

When we are in school, what have we've been told? To build on our weaknesses, right? We take various subjects in school and expected to get good grades on all those subjects. But really, who is equally good at math, English, art, economics, physical education, history, and health education? Nobody! Getting As in all of your subjects doesn't reflect real life, does it? 

Now just think if you had a report card labeling your personal traits. You WILL NOT get an A on all those traits! You will get one or two As, a few Bs, LOTS of Cs and Ds, and a couple of Fs. If you were in school, you'd be told to work on the traits that you're not good at. Well, why should you? Maybe an F is just an F and doesn't necessarily mean anything bad about you!

In life, we spend so much time building on weaknesses that we forget to strengthen our strengths. We chase after things that depend on our weaknesses instead of chasing things that depend on our strengths.

• Some people aren't meant to be bodybuilders. 
• Some people aren't meant to be doctors. 
• Some people aren't meant to be teachers. 
• Some people aren't meant to be parents. 
• Some people aren't meant to be leaders. 
• Some people aren't meant to be in college. 
• Some people aren't meant to be soldiers. 
• Some people aren't meant to be police officers. 

And that's okay! If you're not meant for one thing, then that means you're meant for something else. Everybody is meant for something!

I truly believe that God has given everybody special gifts and certain traits that make them valuable to society. There's even a Bible passage that speaks about this: "In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well." (Romans 12:6) Then Paul, in that passage, goes on about listing certain gifts and how we ought to use them well. If your gift is in teaching, then be the best at it. If your gift is to encourage/inspire, then be the best! If your gift is in generosity, be the best! If your gift is showing kindness and mercy, be the best! If your gift is in leadership, be the best!

Everybody has different traits, different qualities, and different strengths that make him or her unique. When you go after something that isn't meant for you, then you reduce the quality of who you are!

I am NOT meant to be a cop, but I was chasing after it for a while. I wanted to be a cop very much. But inside me, I knew it wasn't something I cared for.

When I was an EMT, I knew it wasn't meant for me. Yes, I've gained plenty of valuable experiences from it, but that field wasn't meant for me. It doesn't mean that it's BENEATH me, but that it's meant for somebody else who could make it work for them.

When I was a public school teacher, I knew that it wasn't for me. Yes, I could say how "broken" the public school system is, but the fact is that being a public school teacher is meant for somebody else. Not me!

You know what? If you suck at something, then you suck at it. Period. Leave it alone and go after something that you don't suck at. Remember that there is ALWAYS somebody who is good at something that you're not good at. 

You don't have to be a pro at everything. You're not meant to be! You don't have to learn ten languages, or be good at ten skills, or read ten books on ten different subjects. Focus on what you are a pro at and work on being MORE of a pro at it.

Don't compare your weaknesses to someone else's strengths. The other person has weaknesses just like you do. You are good at one thing, the other person is good at something else. Keep it that way! 

Strengthen Your Girp

Tired of having softy, dainty, buttery hands? Tired of other people crushing your hands when they give you a hand shake? And are you tired of your dad telling you that you need to "firm up your grip"? 

If you have a weak grip, that means that you have weak forearm muscles. Your fingers determine how strong your grip would be, and believe it or not, your fingers are controlled by your forearm muscles. When you open your hands (or extend your fingers), the extensor muscles on the top of your forearms are activated. When you close your hands (or flex your fingers), the flexor muscles on the bottom of your forearms are activated.

Your thumb is controlled by EIGHT muscles in both the forearms and the hands! Wow! You could see why this little body part is so strong and crucial to your grip!

The forearms are one of the least (well, in my opinion anyway) trained body parts. Yes, you could be very muscular and very strong and STILL have a weak grip. On the flip side, you could be overall skinny and weak but have a powerful grip!

Now, you may be thinking, "How in the world could you be strong overall with muscles everywhere and still have a weak grip?" Well, the main job of your forearms is to grab. In fact, you could consider the forearm muscles finger muscles, because in essence, that's what they are. Their job is to extend the fingers and flex them -- that is, open the hand and close the hand. The forearms also makes the hand go up, down, and side to side.

When you're doing exercises such as pull-ups, bicep curls, and push-ups, your forearms act like stabilizers. They ASSIST the primary muscle group, and since they act as assistants, they don't work very hard. For instance, when you do a bicep curl, the primary muscle that's working is the bicep brachii group. The forearms, however, just assist by helping you grip the weight so you could curl it. The forearm is not working very hard in doing bicep curls, but you could further take the pressure off the forearms by relaxing your grip on the bar. Even if the bar is heavy, you don't need to grip it too hard. Your biceps are doing most of the work.

So, you could have very strong and bulging biceps without having an iron grip.

If you're doing bench presses, the primary muscle group is the pectoral muscles. The forearms simply assist by gripping the bar and keeping it steady. But you could take a lot of pressure off your forearms by loosening your grip on the bar. Even if the weight is heavy, all your forearms need to do is to hold the bar steady. You don't even need to wrap your fingers around the bar: you could simply let the bar rest in your hands. 

So, you could have bulging pecs like a gorilla but have a grip like a typical person.

In order to have a powerful grip, you need to focus on exercising your forearms. You exercise your forearms by using your fingers.

So, instead of resting the dumbbell in your hand when doing a bicep curl, have the dumbbell resting in your fingers.

Instead of grabbing a pull-up bar with your entire hands, try lifting yourself up with just your fingers.

Instead of doing push-ups with your entire hands on the floor, try doing "finger push-ups" where you're using only your fingers to hold yourself up. These are tough!

Now, outside of the gym, here are some things to do in your everyday life to strengthen your grip.

• Carry your grocery bags with your fingers, not with your entire hand.
• Lift heavy objects with your fingers. 
• Squeeze your hands a little harder during hand shakes. If the other person sincerely says Ouch, then your grip is getting stronger!
• Practice thumb wrestling with someone. Yes, seriously!
• Turn the key in the car ignition using just your index finger and thumb. For that matter, unlock anything with a key by just using your index finger and thumb.
• Push a heavy shopping cart with your fingers. Close your four fingers and your thumb as if making a duck bill. You're going to grab the shopping cart handle bar like this and push.
• Do wall push-ups with just your fingers.
• Use a punching bag. You need to close your fist tightly when punching something.

Any chance you have to lift something, use just your fingers and thumbs as much as possible.

See, when you use your entire hands, then the forearms don't work that hard. When using your entire hand, the hand is like a resting pad. Your fingers would assist your hands by keeping the objects in the hand stable. However, when using just your fingers, then your fingers become both the resting pad and the stabilizer. 

It's easy to use your hands for everything. But keep in mind that you may get a deep cut in your hand or some other kind of injury. If your fingers are strong, then you could still function with one hand injured.

Say good bye to buttery fingers. Say hello to gorilla-strength hands! 

Don't Wait. Start Now!

Before the New Year comes, what do people do? Right, they start making New Year's Resolutions. Now, how do I automatically know that you're going to fail at those resolutions? Because you're waiting until the first of January to start them instead of starting those resolutions NOW.

Think about it. You're working full-time at a discount store, making seven bucks an hour. Plus, you're working at a dollar store part-time making less! You get a call from a company that you've interviewed for. They want you to join their team. You'd be making $100,000 a year. They ask, "When could you start?" What would you say? The first of January? Heck no! You want to start RIGHT NOW!

Someone calls you saying that you've won a brand new Lexus! You've been driving an old clunker for the longest time, and that sucker is going to die at any moment. The person who calls you ask when you'd like to pick up your new car? What would you say? The  first of January? No way! You're going to pick up that car RIGHT NOW!

If it's important to you, then you'll take care of it right away. If it's not, you'd put it off.

You want to lose weight, but guess what? You want to wait. Put it off until the next year. You know, you just got things you need to do first. You need to get your finances together, get through the holidays, get clearance from your doctor, and finish up all the holiday sweets.

I guess your weight-loss isn't all that important to you.

You want to be a famous author and write bestselling books that would turn into movies, make a few million dollars, and live the good life. But right now, well, you just don't have the time. You'd get started on your book when the time is right.

I guess being an author isn't important to you.

You've been dating a young lady for a year. She's waiting for you to propose to her. But, you're just not ready yet. I mean, marriage is a big deal, lots of commitment, lots of money -- you just can't rush into these things. So, you're just waiting until the time is right. Five years later, you're still hesitating to propose to your girlfriend. She waited five years for you, and you're still showing no interest in proposing, much less getting married.

She's going to think that your relationship with her isn't that important. You could kiss her goodbye!

Why do we wait until we do anything? Why can't we just do it now? Man, how many things could you accomplish if you just decide to do something RIGHT NOW instead of waiting until the time is right?

But you see, you wait because it's not that important to you. So, if you're waiting to look for a new job, to lose weight, to get your marriage right, to spend time with your kids, then in essence, those things aren't that important to you.

• The reason you're still stuck in a rut is because getting out of the rut wasn't that important to you.
• The reason you're still struggling with your weight is because losing the weight wasn't that important to you.
• The reason you're still single is because getting married wasn't all that important to you. I'm sorry, but there is no such thing as a SOUL MATE. Marriage is about commitment to one person, not about finding some fairy tale person.

Yes, go ahead and make your excuses as for why you haven't accomplish the things you've wanted. Yes, make the excuse that your thyroid is slow. Make the excuse that you just can't "rush into marriage." Make the excuse that you have no time. Make the excuse that there are risks you need to consider first. Make the excuse that the world could end at any moment. Make the excuse that the government is keeping you down.

But when it comes down to it, the only VALID excuse you could use is that it wasn't important to you.

• If your kid was dying, how important would it be to find a cure to save him or her? Yes, VERY important. 
• If you know you're going to lose your job soon, how important would it be to find another job right away? Yes, VERY important.
• If you won a million dollars, how important would it be to get that money into your bank account? VERY important!
• If your carbon monoxide detector went off, how important would it be to get out the house? VERY important.

So, if you want to accomplish other things in life, they need to be important to you. You need to chase after them as if you won't ever have those opportunities again.

Don't make excuses as to why you can't do something, or why you need to wait. Either admit that those things aren't important to you, or get started on them RIGHT AWAY.

How Much Of Your Life Are You Willing To Sacrifice

If you want to know the TRUE value of something, don't look at how much money you've spent on it. Look at how much of your life you've sacrificed to get it. Then after you've spent your life getting it, ask yourself if you were charged fairly!

• You could always get more money.  
• You could always buy another home.
• You could always buy another car.
• You could always buy new clothes.
• You could always build more businesses. 
• You could always get a better job.
• You could always live in a better place.

But you can't get another life!

I'm thinking about a Bible passage that addresses this very thing. The apostle James wrote to a church and spoke about individuals who dream of starting up businesses. "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (James 4:13-14)

I think about Israel's ancient king Solomon when he says, "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring." (Proverbs 27:1)

What's the point here? Is it that having dreams is wrong? Is it that pursuing certain things in life is pointless? No. It's that we should remember how fragile our life is. You could truly be here today and gone tomorrow. Your time on this planet is limited and nothing is guaranteed for tomorrow. 

Jonathan Larson, creator of the Broadway hit musical Rent died  before the show's first premiere. He had never seen the success of his creation. Even though his show became a HUGE success, he never lived to see any of that success, or to receive any profit from the Broadway play, or to receive any awards that this show won.

I remember back in college, we've experienced a few student deaths. One death occurred in the food court of the college where a student passed out while working by a grill. He died. Another death occurred when two students were driving and one of them lost control of the steering wheel. They cashed and lost their lives. Another death occurred when a van of students went over an overpass bridge. All those students died.

These students never completed their college education and never had the chance to pursue their dreams. Their lives were cut short while they were pursuing their dreams!

Life is absolutely fragile. You can't take it for granted. It is truly a vapor: here today, gone tomorrow.

So, what do you want to pursue in life? How much would it cost you to get it? That is, how much of your life are you willing to sacrifice to get it?

Yes, many of us want to be rich. How soon do you want those riches? You want them right away? Well, you're going to have to sacrifice your life for a few years to get those riches -- and yet, you may never live to see them!

Yes, many of us want successful careers. Those kinds of careers don't happen right away -- but if you want to get those careers quickly, you need to sacrifice a few years of your life. But, you may never get the chance to be that successful doctor, or lawyer, or president.

• You may never reach retirement. Start traveling now.
• You may not see your spouse again after you walk out that door. Start spending more time with him or her.
• Your kids may not make it to their teenage years. Enjoy them now.
• Despite all the exercise you do, you still may hurt yourself to the extent where your fitness career is over. Go easy on yourself and enjoy what you do now.
• You may never leave poverty. You just might die while in your poverty. Start enjoying the simple pleasures now.
• Don't stay mad at a loved one. You may never get the chance to make up with them.
• Don't seek revenge. You may die while plotting how to get back at someone.

Since life is so fragile, you need to focus on pursuing the right things in life, which I believe are the following:

• Spiritual health
• Physical health
• Mental health
• Relational health

Money comes and goes. Businesses come and go. Careers come and go. But you only have one life. Take full advantage of it.

If you're working on a business, don't spend too much time on it. If you're working to lose weight, don't stress over it. Take it slowly. If you're working on a blog like I am, don't try to post 10 blogs a day. Trying to do business on social media? Don't hover over your computer. Step outside and enjoy the day.

Success will come when it comes. If it comes tomorrow, great! If it comes in 20 years, great! But don't sacrifice your life to get success.  You may never get success. But you do have a life TODAY. So live TODAY while it is called TODAY. 

Motivated By Excuses

People are motivated in two ways: through being excused or through being empowered. You're either motivated by the fact that you can't do anything about anything, or you'd be motivated by the fact that you can do something about anything.

Now this is going to sound like a generalization, but I feel that we in the U.S. are driven through excuses. 

• If you're overweight, it's not your fault. Your thyroid is slow or you're just genetically doomed to be fat all your life. 
• If you have cancer, it's not your fault. You have a "cancer gene." 
• If you have heart disease, it's not your fault. Heart disease just runs in your family. 
• If you get bad grades in school, then it's the teacher's fault...or maybe the class size is too big...or maybe you just have a learning disability.

Our way of parenting is heavily influenced through excuses. If your kid acts up, well, your kid is just being a kid. Or maybe he or she has some mental issues. If he knocks up a girl at 14, it's not your fault. If she gets pregnant at 14, it's not your fault. Don't ask "Where did I go wrong," because you did nothing wrong. You're excused!

Kids are given condoms in school because, well, they're kids, their hormones are ranging, and they can't always control themselves. So, we have to "protect them" by teaching them about contraceptives and provide them with contraceptives. If my son is going to "do it," then the least I could do is give them protection. Right?

Heck, even our marriages are influenced with excuses. More and more I'm hearing about wives who would allow their husbands to cheat on them as long as the wives don't know about it. Why? Because men are men! Apparently, we men can't control ourselves when we're around other women. 

One time, I've heard on a radio talk show of a female caller who said that she would be okay if her husband cheated as long as she doesn't know about it. Well, if he can't control himself, he's going to get himself some nookie from a woman. Might as well make him feel better about it if he could keep his end of the deal by keeping it a secret from his wife.

But do you know what happens when you're motivated by excuses? You ruin your life! You won't strive to be better because there are too many individuals giving you excuses to stay where you are!

When you're motivated by excuses, then:

• You won't ever lose weight
• You won't ever get a good job
• You won't pursue your own business
• You won't marry the "right person"
• Your marriage will be on the rocks
• Your kids will be out of control
• You will always struggling financially
• You won't ever travel the world
• You won't get a higher education
• You won't accomplish anything worthy in life

How many of you have achieved anything by using excuses? None? Just what I thought! Nobody accomplishes anything when they are driven by excuses -- because you don't do anything when you have an excuse. In fact, an excuse is really another way of saying, "I don't have to do anything!"

At one time, if you were fat, it was YOUR fault. You either ate too dang much or ate too much of the wrong things. See, when I was younger, I was the fat kid. We fat kids were the EXCEPTION in school. Most of the kids were slim. When you were the fat kid, other kids made fun of you. Nurses were concerned about you. Your gym teacher was mean to you! When you were the fat kid, guess whose fault it was? The parent and the kid!

Is it like that today in America? Nope! Now, it's the norm to be the fat kid in class. Heck, the principal is fat, the teachers are fat, the school nurses are fat, the parents are fat, and the kids are fat. Heck, even doctors are fat! Being obese is now considered a "disease." Kids are being excused! Parents are being excused! Everybody is fat and it's okay! God makes everybody into different shapes, right? If that's the case, then apparently God's favorite shape is a circle!

We live in a culture that motivates citizens with excuses rather than empowerment. Nobody is at fault! Nobody is responsible for any adversity! 

It surely does feel good to hear that it isn't your fault! It's good to blame traffic, or your car not starting, or the alarm not going off. But you know what? When you accept that nothing is your fault, then you unknowingly accept that you cannot do anything to make your life better.

It feels good when the boss accepts that you were late because of traffic. But then again, your boss may have another employee who is NEVER late for work. What is that employee's secret? He wakes up VERY early so that he could avoid traffic. That employee is perhaps the only employee who arrives to work 30 minutes early. The boss would notice this and give that employee a promotion. You? You won't get anything because you've accepted excuses!

It feels good when your mom and dad accepts that school is too hard for you, that class sizes are too big, and that you may have ADHD. It's okay that you can't get into any good colleges. Education isn't everything. But then again, you have a kid whose parents accepted no excuses from their child and he or she gets all A's every time. Class sizes were HUGE, but that wasn't a valid excuse for the parents. The teacher was hard to understand. It didn't matter. The kid had to research the material him or herself! ADHD? What's that?? And guess what? Every prestigious college is calling that kid up and offering FULL scholarships. That kid could go to college for FREE!

And where are you going? To get a job at the local dollar store!

Yes, it feels good when your wife accepts that you have a weakness for pornography and can't help yourself. Then she meets a man who has no struggles with that and leaves you for him. 

Yes, it feels good that your husband accepts that you have anger issues and can't help degrading his manhood at times. Then he meets a woman who doesn't have those issues and leaves you for her.

Yes, it feels good that your boss excuses you because of your lifestyle-related illnesses. You're always calling off work to see a doctor and the boss seems okay with it. But one day, he will find a healthier employee and fire your behind!

Yes, it feels good that your kid excuses you from spending time with her. You're always working and never have time for her. She tells you it's okay! Then one day, she would end up on the streets as a prostitute, pregnant, and on drugs.

Yes, it feels good when your son's behavior is contributed to ADHD. You can't do anything about it except give him medication. Your conscious is clean -- until you find your kid in the hospital from an overdose of medication struggling for his life.

Excuses feel good! But they accomplish nothing in your life! Excuses would kill you and your loved ones. Empowerment will save many lives!

You have a choice! You could make yourself better or allow yourself to settle. 

• You could get rich or stay poor
• You could lose weight or gain weight
• You could start a business or stick with getting a job
• You could have a great marriage or a bad marriage
• You could push your child to be better or leave them alone
• You could start being early or continue being late
• You could improve your health or let it decline
• You could be positive or remain negative
• You could reach for the stars or stay on the ground

 

And most importantly, you could live your life comfortable with excuses or live your life seeking empowerment.

Before you say that something can't be done, TRY IT first. Before you say that there is no hope, try hoping first. Before you think it's pointless, try sharpening the pencil first!

Empower yourself! Don't accept excuses. If you want to live a richer, more fulfilling life, then push yourself! See what could be done. If you settle for excuses, you'll live in misery until you fall in your grave.